Most parents wonder how they would appropriately raise their children. After all, the task is not easy. Most of the time, parents who are little concerned about their children tend to focus on the ancient wisdom that they’ve used a couple of times says Jonah Engler. This is undoubtedly a marvelous idea. Great teachers like Buddha have always influenced people for centuries and helped countless people find the proper meaning of their life.
As his teaching is universal, this perhaps makes the most sense. However, there is one drawback. Most ancient wisdom doesn’t come with the proper processes of raising children. Do you know why? How could a great teacher like Buddha forget to mention such a great aspect of life? The truth is that Buddha didn’t have to talk about raising children. The Buddhist approach to raising children properly is a path Buddha laid out before. When you follow this path, you will be able to solve the puzzle.
It doesn’t matter what your say, children will never learn from it. They learn from our behavior and how we deal with the different situations in life. This is what captures the attention of their curious mind. If you start providing them spiritual advice, they will never listen to it. Even if we call ourselves Buddhists and discuss wisdom and compassion, but act like self-centered, neurotic attention seekers, the children will showcase no interest in the spiritual tradition. If you try to find out the opinion of your children on our spiritual practice, you might not receive satisfactory feedback.
One of the best and most effective ways to raise an emotional intellect child is by setting your example. But how can you achieve that? You need to focus on your practice. Mindfulness practice is something that helps us place our minds in the world of love and kindness. We go through breaths and meditation to rest our minds so that we can see and recognize our thoughts as well as emotions without connecting and judging the open, basic, and uncontrolled nature of the mind. This practice is extremely important when you start sharing your life with your child, says Jonah Engler.
When becoming a parent, the adults need to surrender. This means that they need to surrender their peace, good sleep, and other normal selfish selves. While allowing children to do whatever they want, might be extremely hard on us. Without surrendering, parenthood is undoubtedly a struggle that might affect other aspects of life. Instead of managing and restricting your children, you need to nurture them. If you want to raise a child, you need to consider surrendering your speed, personal and economic goals, and constant desire to become more successful in life.
Mindfulness while allows your children to discover who they are. We might think that our children will become doctors, engineers, bankers, artists, etc. But this is something we want, and sometimes it might not have anything to do with what the child wants. Through awareness and mindfulness, we will be able to create a space for acceptance and kindness. If your child is becoming angry instead of understanding the situation, you should not push the situation further.
The Mundane is Sacred
The reality is that children will always live in the moment. They don’t understand the concept of spirituality, Buddhism, economy, or business. Their experience as well as their entire world is associated with the house. As a parent, if you have to have a huge impact on the lifestyle of your children, Jonah Engler says you have to start from there. If you complement our daily mindfulness, we will be able to appreciate our existence in the real life. Children will start feeling this instantly. The sacredness will channel their inner growth.
Some Precepts of Enraged Parenting through Buddhism
Now it’s time to discuss some different precepts of enraged parenting through Buddhism.
Watch Your Action and Words
While guiding your children to the right path, you need to understand that everything you do will have a direct impact on the children. Even if you’re not addressing your children directly, the way you address the stranger and your partner as well your friends will determine the behavior and kindness of your children while treating others. Your methods of response should come from compassion, experience, and kindness. You also need to consider how your actions will look in the eyes of your children.
You can express love and care at any moment. Consider providing genuine expressions of love and care when the stress is high. As per Buddha, love is one of the most powerful aspects of life. Therefore, the way you showcase love to your partner and your family members will undoubtedly have a positive effect on your child.
Don’t Make False Promises
If you promise something and you break that promise, your actions will decrease trust. If you make a promise, then ensure that you’re doing everything you can to keep that promise. If you think that you’re not capable of fulfilling your words, then avoid promising in the first place. Promising something and then breaking the promise will create a negative impact on your children.
Remember that your children will grow. The same daughter who used to play with you will feel more independent in the future says Jonah Engler. She might tell you to leave her some personal space. This is completely fine. Keep in mind that your expectations will not match your child’s expectations always. This is a change that is essential for their life and you should not fight about it. You just need to accept this fact and encourage them as they are.
As the relationships go through various changes, it will aid to foster growth. As your children will become teenagers, they will desire freedom. In such cases, you need to provide wisdom to your child so that they can develop greater self-control. The questions you ask should be dependent on honesty.
This is the guide you need to know about Buddhist parenting explains Jonah Engler. If you have any other questions, make sure you comment below.